Aww... me likes too... it's so sweet.. *melts into a puddle like the Wicked Witch of the West*.. ^^"

Seriously, it sounds really pretty. The "Completely" in the end wraps it up quite well, I think. I usually obsessively analyse the syntax and diction of whatever short piece I read. I like doing stuff like that, to try and enunciate why I like or dislike something written.

I think that "Completely" is all the more powerful because of the flowing passages before it. And the sudden emphasis of it just makes it all the more potent.

Question: do you think it would help to use punctuation within the poem, or have you deliberately omitted punctuation? I'm thinking instead of elipsis at the "That you have me..." that it be a period, full-stop. And then "Completely." But it's your creation, and it's amazing as it is.

Ok.. my rambling is done.. =P On to other crazy LG posts.. XD

I always try my best to say more that just "Omg. Great."

You know that it's not particularly interesting if that's all you get, because the person doesn't really connect with what you've done.

I had more ideas about "revising" your poem.. haha.. But I pull back 'cuz I don't wanna get all teacher-ish.. XD

When I write, it's usually like a verbal diarrhea (sorry for the inappropriate images, but it's quite an appropriate simile.. =P) that I release. And then I spend more time culling the words and shaping it into what I want. I'm revision-crazed when it comes to writing.. ^^"