Grrr!!!

Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 1:40am
Grrr!!!
 You know, this may seem stupid.  I probably shouldn't even get this annoyed with it.  But, still...  Ugh!  Some people can be so rude.  Anyways, a couple of days ago I got a message from a guy on a site.  I thought he was sweet, so anyways.  We talked a couple of times.  Then the conversations kinda went dull, I suppose is away to put it.  He got annoyed with me, I guess, cause I wouldn't call him.  Well, sheesh, I'd only talked to him twice.  So, seeing as he got pouty and really wouldn't let the conversation go anywhere I did.  The conversation didn't really go anywhere, due to my telephone being messed up at the moment.  So, anyways...

This whole time we've hit it off really well.  I'm thinking things are going well.  He can hold a good conversation and he's pointed it out to me that we are both single.  Well, that's all fine and dandy, I don't see a problem with that being brought up into conversation...  Well, as long as he gives me time to get to know him.  And, well... Now... I am not so sure.  I don't think he is the way he presented himself out to be.  I get online to talk some more to him.  And when I asked him what he was up to, normal way of breaking the ice, riiii~ght?  His reply was porn.  Umm!  I really didn't need to know that.  I'm trying to get to know someone.  Jeez, what does he think...  We're going to hook up after knowing someone for a couple of days?!?!?

I couldn't think of anything to say...  So, I just said... interesting.  And left it at that.  Never said anything back and after about 20 minutes, he signed off.  The reason why it annoys me though... Is like.. .did he look at my profile and my pic and automatically assume that because I am single I had *easy* written on my forehead and that porn and the like was a conversational topic to be held after just a few conversations???
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The Worst Foe Lies Within The Self... ~ Parasite Eve


Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 1:54am #1
You have good reason to be upset! Sounds like he wasn't who he appeared to be. Definitely don't beat yourself up about it! Just don't worry about him if he's one of those dumb people. =\ I still can't believe that he said porn, lol. 
Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 2:09am #2
The biggest problem with impersonal communication (via online specifically) is the fact that written text is neutral. Therefore, any meaning we glean from it is biased by our own minds. We can infer whatever meaning we want to from a neutral text. If we think he's upset, anything he writes will reinforce it. If we think he's interesting, anything we read from him will reinforce it. You get the picture...

The other downside to this type of communication is the fact that people can be anyone they want to be. Without having body language, tone of voice, or eye contact, we miss an entire type of communication that greatly influences us.

It's so unfortunate to me that some gay men think it's ok to just cut-to-the-chase like that in hopes that maybe any type of meaningful "relating" can be bypassed and they can go straight to the "dessert". :/ I fear, however, that there will be many more experiences like this to come, for they are abundant online.
Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 2:11am #3
LOL it could've been worse... he could have been *doing* something else o_O and probably wrote that down judging by his attitude? lol the world is full of any type of person you can imagine, and the internet only brings them all into a small confined area (with boundary conditions ^^) lol, so its "normal" to see creeps, although better if no one did... aiy, let it pass and move on, there are better ppl to waste time on! (and better anime to be watched XD bwahahaha)
Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 10:33am #4
wow...gotta love the internet! I try not to be negative you know...afterall, what would that say about myself? But, you gotta be on guard for this kind of crap. I mean, there are plenty of 'weirdos' to meet in person as well. Better luck next time Crying Mountain!
Posted on: August 5, 2008 - 1:28pm #5
Mark it off to his being a jerk and move on. There are lots of limitations to this form of communication and so we tend to do a lot of projecting. If he is looking for a hookup then he will think that everyone is. It was like that in gay bars in the 80's even when you were face to face.
Sorry that you had to experience that.