A helpful thing I find to do whenever I find myself in a situation where I don't know the "right" choice to make, is to present that choice to the person in question.

For example: You can tell your friend,

"I feel like I'm caught between two sides and am not sure what you would have me do: On one hand, I want to be a good friend and help you, yet on the other hand I don't want to thave you become dependent on me like you have with other people in your life, only for me to disappoint you.  I feel like I can't be there for you, and yet, when I am there for you, I feel like I'm being your primary life support, and it makes me really uncomfortable."


The truth is, this girl has problems bigger than you, and in some ways, you uninentionally can contribute to her problems by allowing her to become codependent on you.

The best intervention you can do as a friend is encourage her to seek professional services (ie: social workers) and to encourage her to be independent.

 well my advice with that situation is to tell her to do the responsible thing and let the grandparents have custody. if she did it willingly i'm sure the grandparents would have no problem letting her see her kids whenever she wants to, because that would show that she wants to be responsible and do the right thing for her children's welfare. my sister is in a very similar situation, her first child's father has been arrested and gone through rehab and all that kind of stuff and he's not much help, the second child's father acknowledges her, but doesn't want his family to know, so he provides no support, so basically my mom is supporting my sister and if she could my mom would kick my sister out on her own and take care of the children herself because it would be better for the kids in the long run.

so just tell your friend to do the responsible thing, since the grandparents seem to be financially able to take care of the child/children, that would take a great financial burden off of herself, she would have the peace of mind that her kids are somewhere with food shelter and security, and she would have more time to get herself on her feet and able to function. not to mention since she's pregnant, she's in a very hormonal and irrational state right now (i know because my sister's been living with us when she was pregnant with both her children) where she might not be able to see the outcome of a decision she makes right now, whether it be good or bad. and really, it would show a great amount of maturity and responsibility if she were to let her parents take care of her children WILLINGLY.