Coming out to my Siblings (trans)

Posted on: July 28, 2008 - 8:23pm
Coming out to my Siblings (trans)

My sister: resistant to the idea of even a name change (you should keep what you were born with, etc. etc.), refers to all trans people collectively as "drag queens"; is accepting of LGB people, but I don't think she will react well to me being transsexual
My brother: I have never talked with him about feelings in my entire life.  However, he is gay and openminded, so that should help.
my eldest sister: will have to be email due to us never seeing each other.
Okay, that summarizes that.  Advice?


Posted on: July 31, 2008 - 9:10pm #1
I don't really have any advice for you, as I haven't come out to my brother or any of my friends yet. Sorry!I just want to wish you luck, as a fellow 16 year old ftm : D
Posted on: August 3, 2008 - 3:52am #2
The only one I would tell is your brother- but only if you don't think he'd blab to your sisters. The one seems pretty grounded in that there is no way she would react well, and the other one isn't really 'in' your life if you don't see eachother. My thing is to keep a close circle of people who you know are cool with who you are, and the other people, even if they're family, don't need to know if they will only bring stress/pain to your life- ESPECIALLY if you depend on them for anything. They also don't need to know if they aren't a presence in your life. It's none of their business. For me, no one on my dad's side of the family knows I'm gay (well, not to say they don't talk amongst themselves, lol) and I've been out (to other people) for over 3 years now.

It's your life and you aren't obligated to others to tell them anything about it. As long as you're good with you, that's all that matters, even if you never came out to anyone. Being "out", while is a sign of taking pride in who you are, I personally don' t think compares to really knowing who you are and not letting anyone shake that, or your belief in yourself.

I do understand that your situation is different from mine in that, at some point, it would be impossible to really "hide" yourself from them. But thats when I think self-interest HAS to take over. Yeah, it might be surprising for them, or akward at some point. Poor them. If they aren't going to be a supportive force, then they don't deserve that consideration- in my book. And you're the one that has to determine that. And if they hold it against you later, well again, thats their problem and their loss. If they would have been supportive, then they should understand why you may not have told them before. Don't let other peoples' insecurities worry you. You have to do what's right for you.

the best of luck!