So from time to time I wonder if i should cut back my private teaching schedule etc and wonder if I'm really doing any good teaching musicians. Then something happens like last week and I remember some of the other things that I do.
There is a little boy who has been coming here for several years and just turned 13 but has a maturity level comparable more to an 11 year old.  Now this kid has been a jerk to lots of other kids when he percieves, weak, sisified or efiminate behavior, but his father and older brother seem to be the source. This little guy likes to wear lots of jewelry and bracelets and now fingerless gloves and likes to keep his hair very long and loves metal bands. Well when his father sees him wearing anything girly he makes him remove it and punishes him so he sneaks everything through his house and his mom is cool with it. So about a month ago he was watching this other younger boy take his flute lesson and asked out of the blue if he could try my flute, so he did and actually has a knack for it. And he now is going to start taking flute along with guitar, way cool that! He has also been kind of relaxing on how hard he is on other kids, honestly I think that having his lesson next to a little boy who playes flute and who is very self assured but not macho (and cute as a bug) is helping in this respect.
So anyway something went on at home a weel ago and this kid decided that if he couldn't get a ride to lessons he would walk in a serious snow storm, his mom picked him up half way cold and wet. But he will not stand for missing a lesson and my wife says that she thinks that he just takes some serious comfort in being here, his mother agrees. Sorry this is getting long.
So he started telling me about something that he did and said that it was silly then he says: " no it's not silly, it's gay, my brother said that it was gay, my brother thinks that I'm a homo just because I wore eyeliner" and he was sitting there getting very angry as he relayed this to me. His mom was sitting behind him making eye contact with me with a sad look on her face and just watching and wondering if her youngest was coming out or just angry or hurt or what. He was mostly confused because he doesn't seem to be sure why those thing matter but they do seem to matter so much to some people.
So he wanted to know what I think and I told him that I didn't think that it matters what his brother says and that it doesn't matter even if he is gay because I have students who are and that peple are people and should never be judged on issues like that and that as far as I'm concerned he is himself period.
Anyway, the mom gave me a long silent thankyou look and he and I went on to do the rest of his lesson. He knows that I'm not bothered if he shows up in jewelry, make up or even a dress, and his mom knows this too.
So I'm thinking about what could have been said to him by some people if he would have started that small spontaneous emotional meltdown with them about this subject. I don't think that he is trans or gay or bi though he is in a stage where he is figuring himself out and he may be straight or may be someting else.
I guess that it just kind of was a reminder to me about how some kids come here because they don't get a sense that they somhow do not belong or will not be accepted.