I'm sitting here in a motel on my dads laptop.  In a few hours time we will be in the hospital.  In one aspect I suppose you can say it's for the best, but in another…  Well, my mother has near a dozen active blood clots in her leg.  Maybe more.  The doctors in West Virginia would not touch her.  They said the risk was too high.

Here in Charlottesville, they gave her the option.  To do so they need first to put a filter in her vein to trap the clots if they should become mobile, but even with the filter there is still a dangerous risk.  There isn't a guarantee with just a few clots and with the amount she has… 

I know it was her decision and I know she is scared, but I am as well.  With her sleep apnea, diabetes, breast cancer remission, and the clots!  Risk???  Dangerous is more the word to use.  I know she is tired of the pain and I know that if she would happen to fall on the knee it would shatter…  I completely understand, but if something should happen… 

That is the main reason I came, I didn't want my dad to be alone down here if the worst would come to pass.  But, I am still having issues with my sister passing.  I don't think I could handle it.  She is my confidant, consort, best friend, all these things she is my “Mother”.  We've always been close, I tell her everything…  There rarely is any secrets I keep from her.  What can I say?  I am a mommas boy!!!

She doesn't even know I know she is awake, but I hear her crying over on her bed.  She's been doing that for 2 days.  And I don't know what to say. 

I've said all I can; I am going to try to go to bed.  That's what is happening my world.  Thought I'd let you all know.