So I have recently kind of split with my ex of one and half years, she didn't want a relationship now so she could focus on school and work. SO she told me that we are not together but were still dating and I am the one she sees marrying in the future. We still talk and kiss and hangout and all of the feelings are still there, but we are both free to date whoever as long as we don't let each other know when and who we go on dates with...SO last night I went out with my friend, not even on a date but just to go see a movie as friends...and so long story short we get to the movies and I just can't control myself..I had to hold her hand...haha yeah I know it sounds so innocent but that is the kind of girl I use to be and I like being sweet and innocent..so we hold hands and then she drives me back home and then we have the whole say good bye akwardly because we both know our feelings are suffocating the both of us, and i lean in and hug her and then kiss her on the cheek and she kisses me on the cheek, lame I know but I loved it haha. So she is in the army and she is leaving for Alabama on the 28th and we both know were not going to be together or anything like that, and I know that my heart is still my ex's but I am in this weird in between where i'm trying to stand strong alone without her support which I relyed on sooooo much before...so idk what to do, this army girl makes my heart flutter but I know I can't be 100% hers, but spending time with her is what I want right now......UGH I always told myself I wouldn't let someone force me into a weird open relationship type of thing, and this goes against everything I stand for, but it hurts not being in my exs life more than forcing myself to be comfortable with this whole thing...lesbians are so complicated.