When I first joined Outminds...  I didn't really know what it was I searching for.  I joined mostly on a whim or in one aspect to connect with a friend of mine that I knew was gay in school.  Then I found myself connected with so very much.  More than I had anticipated.  Stranger, was that I found myself connected to... "Me".  I was able to vent, speak my heart out, and didn't have to worry about anyone knowing what was going on inside that I didn't want to know.  I found people that was going through the same things as I was.  I found an odd sense of comfort and familiarity.  A safeness that resembled family.  When the site went down, I thought I would lose till OpenMynds came to us.  I may not get on as much or say as much, but even so... I find solace in knowing that it is here.  So, I completely understand with what you say about holding things in and being able to release it here.  ^_^

Don't let yourself be a victim, even to "yourself".  Yes, you have told us.  But, you should tell someone close to you, it helps.  Trust me.  My ex, he may not have hit me with a physical force and he may not have held me down.  But, I was controlled to my very core.  Being mentally abused... Having gone through that.  I feel it's probably close to the same thing as being physically abused.  I didn't see any of the signs.  I guess I was too stubborn or blinded to see the truth.  If not for my friends, I never would have came out of it.  They saw through the deception and worked to help.  When he left, I was relieved... But, I still needed their support.

I wish you luck with your army girl, she sounds sweet.  But, not just sweet...  Caring and loving!  The other girl, your ex.  It's time, time to move on.  You felt uncomfortable and unsafe, she may not have actually hit you.  But, to make you feel that way... Not good.  With her holding you down, eventually their is the possibility of it escalating.  A violent relationship...  (Forgive me for saying this way)  At your age, could ruin you.  Trusting is hard enough as it is.  Best, to keep her at a distance!  ^_^ 

 woah... yeah using any kind of physical force against you whether violent or not, to get what she wanted is just not right on any level. i'm a very physical person and love rough housing and stuff with my friends but you never lay a hand on someone you love in any other way than a loving touch..
but i'm glad to hear things with your army girl are well, just see where it goes. i know long distance is hard, but it's not impossible. where is she going in alabama?

FT Rucker Alabama for air assualt training

 air assault school? nice, she's gotta have some sort of field MOS, right?

Not sure what that means but she has mentioned it yes, agh i miss her so much!

 heh, you don't want to know.

alright! i'm just the girl who sends games,food,gum and sun screen to my army girl haha. I gave her a basket ball game she can play with her thumbs and the first day she has it she got it taken away in class...oh jeesh

 lol yeah sending games is a bad idea, army privates get in trouble quite easily. but food is always a good idea because the east coast is really weird.