what the hell is his problem? the situation with me and my ex (over a year and a half ago, thank god) is somewhat simliar. Alot of people are just downright stupid or confused, more likely both. All you can do is be honest. The second you cave and go playing 'their' games then you lose, b/c you may play them with the right person who wasn't going to play them back. You can't beat yourself up, trying to psycho-analyze him and make sense out of all the nonsense he does. And believe me I know, relationship, and mostly otherwise, how much it sucks to know you went through alot of shit only to not really get some great 'lesson' out of it. I can only hope the lesson isn't a solid pessimism many years down the line..

And you said he can read this?? Maybe its just me..Personally I don't care if someone thinks a certain something of me or about me, even dealing with more 'emotional' type issues, but with your situation specifically... I just wonder if you want to reach out to him or connect to him in some way to at least make sense of it all. But that just binds you to him more, and who knows where he's going, gone, or going to end up..and I sure as hell wouldn't want to be along for someone else's ride-'with' them, or not.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone is just inherently doomed to either be on the receiving end of this kind of shit or to be doing it. If its the person or situation that causes it. but all that matters is what happens and what doesn't. No matter what you do in life, or in any relationship, make it about  you- thats my personal insurance policy. And trust me, there are ways to do that without being a selfish, self-centered, asshole. It's all in perception. Remember this line, it might be cliche, but its so true: "I deserve so much better, Im too good for you." 

Keep working out? (Lifting weights? :D me too ) and listening to music, let time take care of the rest. Spread the word about psycho-itis. jk :) good luck!

"Sometimes I wonder if everyone is just inherently doomed to either be on the receiving end of this kind of shit or to be doing it. If its the person or situation that causes it. but all that matters is what happens and what doesn't."


WOW.....

perfectly stated.

Wow You acrtually read it. =] thanks. I pretty much erased him from my life. I'm not crying anymore.

Some names were changed*

We been together since I moved down to Fl about two years now.. We were always on and off though. Met him in highschool then we both moved, he went north and I went sound of florida. Apparently we were both in love with each other. He's a flirt though and things went out of hand, Him kissing guy and etc. Then We were together again, Then he needed a break didnt want to have a title while not being together. Then something happened and he told me to fuck off (treated me like crap). Then he got with this kid named Bob*. Then a few months or so we talked, an he said  he didnt like burning bridges and he was in denial. So we got together again. Then about a month ago he made the trip and came over to my house for the weekend. We fooled around and etc, Still a virgin though.. Oh it was nice... He looked into my eyes and said its ok Joel everything is going to be alright, and I started to cry. So then recently said he loves me but hes not in love with me, that hes not sure he wants to be with me. Of course a guy was invovled and his name was Ray*.  Apparently Ray reminded him of me. So Idk what happened with Ray, he is still in highschool and hes my age. T.R* my ex then moved further north to tallahassee. 

So yeah I erased him, like I never knew him.  Then today he calls me =/  with another number I didnt recognize... So I picked up... =[ My mistake.  Then on myspace it feels everything was directed to me.... Like this...

  is going to chic-fil-a with new friends, then a movie. hooray for progression. i hope you, however, fail miserably. I wish you the worst. 6 hours ago.
Mood: satisfied

I tried not to jump to conclusions...

So I was nice to him but the comments he left me was not necessary..... followed by a it was a joke.
So again went back to not talking to him...
 

That sounds like it might be the best option... I haven't talked to my ex since the day I left. Yeah, it'll probably drive you crazy for awhile, just wanting to KNOW every detail, but the bits and pieces you might get from continuing to talk to him will probably end up not being worth it. And that really wasn't a friendly status, and I don't think you would be jumping to conclusions. He's probably more upset about it than you ever were, and just has a weird way of dealing with it. (so secretly gloat that hes rocking back and forth in a corner....still crying) Stay strong!

Honestly, this guy sounds like he enjoyed having a bit of control over you - so much so that he seems quite angry that he doesn't have that control anymore.

I find the myspace status ironic, because to me, just being with him and his emotional game playing was probably about the worst you could go through.

Good for you for loving yourself enough (when he didn't love you) to move on.

I believed that as well. Its like he wants me to feel sad and show how great he is without me... =[ But see he was the one that decided to let go...  Thanks sam. I will stay strong. Thank you everyone. Also He wrote a blog about Immaturity which Im sure has to do with me. What did I do to deserve this? I already feel awful as it is...

Great to hear you're doing better.

Echoing above, it does sound like he gets some satisfaction making sure you feel underneath him. Staying strong does the trick, although it may be easier said than done. Move on, ignore him, etc. etc. Sounds like a plan. d-(^_^)-b

Yeah.....I don't even know what to make of that.
It was very teeter-totter-y....like you went back and forth.

Well bye.

------------------------------------------------------


I feel like I owe you more than that last message.

Um, if you do feel it necessary to be done with me forever and ever, then by all means...forget me. I, however, can say that I'm considerably over the situation as a whole.
I do love you though I suppose...I've just sincerely lost interest. I can't say, "It's not you, it's me", because it is you, but that isn't a reason for you to be upset and certainly not enough to delete your myspace.

I didn't know you loved me from day one. That was an interesting piece of information.

Also, I never gave up on you completely. I just need to not know you for a while. That's all. You needed "me time", I need "me time". I think my "me time" is going to be a bit more rigorous than yours is though. Like...a many months, maybe a year or two of "me time".

Okay, NOW bye.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ..canceling of account..
Date: Aug 18, 2008 7:07 PM


So you finally deleted me.. Well I couldnt do it. =/. Sorry I missed your call. I'm deleting my myspace now. Im tired of it. Just wanted to say good bye again. Dont think you care... Well I know you dont but now its certain. I love you though... Regardless if you dont... I needed time away from you ,So I can think, but im done with me time. It Doesnt seem to help, but since you have no feeling what so ever so ever I thought that you can let me go completely. So I was hoping you erase me from your life completely. Which I cant do... and perhaps you have a better chance of doing so since you have ntohing to lose. Until I leave all this behind... this house... I can not forget about you... I may have fun and temporaily forget about you... But its the same outcome. So you called me I was suprised.... It pains me to hear your voice now... Im not being immature.... Its a decision I made for myself to move on. I was hoping In time I would forget... I only wanted you to know. that loving you was all I was trying to do... I feel like crap, I want to move on, and stop bugging you, I dont want you as a friend. I rather not. Thats another decision I made. I never wanted to pick up or talk to you at all... I thought I was doing well... but It still huts inside.... I dont get it.... Im lost and so confused.. I dont know what happened... Im sorry. Im sorry, I just Love you So much. If you love someone set them free? I love you and im trying... Thanks for being there though... Farewell.

As long as your happy thats all that matters, even if im not in the picture... I love you, and Always did... From day one...

Bye
Joel

So we just talked he just said he loved me and such, but he doesnt believe in long distant relationship like I. So he said if someone manages to fill your heart, or find someone better the that good, but If you get closer to me, you cant expect us not to talk and go back to the old ways. He said he has a lot to fill and he cant deal with worrying and being upset at someone when they are so far. That we never had a chance to be together that he still loves me.

And the plot thickens! >_<"

He sounds like a decent person. Like you said, he's not an a-hole. Still, good for you for starting to close this chapter and moving on.

His words have this constant back and forth of  "I'm considerably over the situation as a whole" and "I love you". I can almost empathize with his confusion over this relationship with you, except his teeter-tottering seems to be incessantly toying with your love for him. And that kind of playing is a no-no.

Regardless of how bad he might feel or how oblivious he may be to his effect on you, I think you oughta' keep your distance to get well. (Just a personal opinion...) The back and forth won't help you, and there seems little hope of having a decent relationship with him anytime soon.

Here's a couple things that convinced me he doesn't want a relationship:
His "'me time' is going to be ... maybe a year or two of 'me time'" and he "didn't know you loved [him] from day one".

I don't think it's healthy to wait for him for 1 or 2 years. That - in itself - would convince me (at least rationally) that there's no near future with him. Then again, love isn't rational and feelings can't be reasoned away.

Ok. So he's not an a-hole, but it sounds like he's not up to the task of being with you. It still sounds like it's high-time to move on, yes?

If I've come off too bluntly, sorry.. ^^" I have little time for relationship drama that has no end, because that's one of the worst things for anyone. And you totally deserve better than endless relationship drama, wouldn't you agree? ;)

 

Lol yes of course.. Were on our seperate ways.... He just doesnt believe in long distance that its a lie.. But he has feelings for me apparently, just "frozen". Maybe we will have a chance to be together and maybe not. But basically all I wanted was not to be left in the dark and know the situation better, and ending on a good note. Im happy.  This story has come to a close. Thanks everyone.

Lol Actually for those people Who didnt know we are together... =D I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! HE LOVES ME SO MUCH. I'm going to leave it as that. It's been three years now.