Wow, this must be a hard situation to be going through.

New relationships (especially if it is the first relationship) are very difficult to manage and maintain. This is basically due to the inexperience of one or both members of the couple.

One thing that might help is if you pinpoint exactly what your "problem" is. You have all these conflicting feelings and emotions going on, it's easy to get sideswiped by one or another. After you figure out what the problem is, it might be easier to come up with a solution.

Long distance relationships have a whole list of challenges (in fact, I think there's a post or two that address that in the Relationships forum) that you'll have to face in order to be successful. I think one of the biggest issues with long distance relationship (which can ultimately be their undoing in some cases) is much of what drives the relationship is the distance itself. It's very easy to be enamored by someone you hardly see. Much of the relationship hangs on the lack of continuous contact. You don't have all the time to get on each other's nerves, evaluate each other's bad habits, etc.

Also, sometimes in a relationship when one person starts to get really close to the other, the other starts to back off. There's a constant tension between being over-attached and over-distant in relationships. There are all kinds of reasons why this happens, based on past experiences.

Let me ask you this: Why do anything? Do you need to do anything? If you do something, what will it accomplish?

From what you are saying you are developing a relationship with this gentleman and each of you seems to be developing some feelings toward the other. This is great and is how it should be. It also appears that he cares enough about you and is decent enough to let you know that he still has some feelings for another person and that he feels torn.

I have to appreciate his honesty with you and the caring that this demonstrates. So ask yourself how you could demonstrate the same sort of caring toward him? That is why I am wondering if you need to do anything differently because from the sounds of it there is an honest and caring relationship developing which is a great thing.

Sometimes when a relationship is going along and there is a dificulty, challenge or just something unexpected we gst the urge to do something to try and fix it. Sometimes we have to resist that urge because we are already doing what should be done. Patient supportive caring communication is what should be done here and it sounds as if you are already doing that on both sides.

There just doesn't seem to be anything to fix or address because there isn't a problem really there is simply an issue which calls for understanding and care. So relax and just continue to get to know this guy in an unpresserized way.  I'm not trying to dismiss your concerns but if it aint broke don't fix it. It is natural to have some concern in a situation like this but it just seems that you are already on the right track here.