idk...it might sound silly, but i say don't let yourself "fall" for her until she falls for you. I'm not saying play hard to get, at least not so obviously...but you know how to control yourself and emotions. Its just like with lifting, push too hard, your body won't recover fast enough...so in the end more may just be less anyway. make sure you're in control of the pace of these dates/relationships or at least feel like you are. make sure you'jre doing what's best for you. be selfish for once. if you're just starting something with someone, don't give them your everything and lookout for #1 first and foremost. hope I helped some. best of luck! and as hard as it may be to do you HAVE to view every new relationship with new people as completely separte to any others in the past..because they are.

over the years i've realized that b.c i used to have a problem with comparing every relationship. I fixed that problem. And with this last girl I took my time I'm not any good at the hard to get thing I don't think but I took it slow and things still fell apart. Im really beginning to think that there is something wrong with me......

thanks you made me feel a little bit better

You're the common thread in all these failed relationships.

However, it is self-defeating to view yourself as "the problem". Relationships (good ones and bad ones; successful and failed) can't be attributed to just one person or the other.

Maybe you do need to see someone, Ever hear of avoidant personality disorder? (google it)

I'm not going to say that you have a personality disorder, because it takes alot more information than just a few forum posts for that and an licensed professional, but I think in reading about it, you might see some ways in which you identify with it (mainly, how you cope)

idk what to really take from you saying im the thread in all these failed relationships. Please explain...

I guess what I mean to say is, while it may help for you to figure out what's going on with these girls that makes them dump and discard you while you are giving so much of yourself to them, the common tie within all these relationships is you. Therefore, I think if you want any meaningful change to occur in the future, the work has to start with you. As I said before, that doesn't mean you've got issues or you're crazy or that there's something wrong with you. Life is one big sequence of changes. Some of them are harder for us than others.

then let me ask you this what if you have been the only one changiing because you've always believed you were the problem. I seriously think I have hit a dead end.

I think maybe it would help you if you had a way of laying out your story/stories of all the crap that's been going on with your life/relationships and see if maybe there's a healthier way of addressing this "problem" instead of internalizing it.

I believe that there is a way to find a solution to this problem, and I think with some insight, you might see this problem in a different context.

I'm not sure that it's really within the scope of a forum post to address all that though :p
 

.......its so confusing