well my advice, just wait a couple more years to put a label on yourself. when i was your age, i felt almost exactly the same, now that i'm a bit older, i'm just comfortable being an extremely "butch"/masculine/boyish/whateveryouwanttocallit lesbian (i call myself gay, but everyone else says lesbian). i totally know how it is with the whole not being comfortable with femininity, i hate the fact that i have the few curves i have, but for now since your in the really young teen category everything is going to be uncomfortable. really, it just takes time, and don't set anything in stone with your parents right now other than the fact that you're gay, cuz trust me they can use anything against you later, they remember EVERYTHING.

if you ever want to talk about it just hit me up on aim or send me a PM.

I see where you're coming from too. People still call me sir even with longer hair, and I definately have my womanly curves(ie a butt/hips- still muscular as hell tho..anyway) they do it because of the way i act(assertive, posture..maybe having pecs in addition to breasts adds to it...anyway) - even despite my voice. i used to correct people and become irritated but ive come to see that if you laid out 'feminiity and 'masculinity' it would be kinda hard to label me. i feel strange that i'm so comfortable being me-whatever that "is" in the body i'm in...when in actuality i'm much more comfortable with the idea of an extreme masculinity than i am with an extreme concept of feminity. but i truly feel like i could do well and present myself as either if i wanted for a time and still be comfortable. also, i find myself more attracted to women who are "more butch". or, the liklihood of my being attracted to someone on a various level of the "butch/femme scale" extends much further into butch territory than fem. also, it may just be my environment or my genetalia, but i would without a doubt call myself a feminist. my advice, and i'd say this to anyone, is to not worry to much and just try to learn to be comfortable with yourself and kind to yourself- however you have to go about it.

and, do not forget that FtM is more than just hormones and srs. There are plenty of transmen who live their lives happily without wanting hormones or srs. Labels are tricky, I say avoid trying to stick one on until you feel really adamet about it. As for trying to explain things to your parents... depending on your age it may be tricker than you think. Or easier than you think.  I think the reason they are trying to make sure you dress more femmine is that they are worried for you. It is hard enough to protect your child from hate. It is hard enough to try to protect your child from homophobes... when when your child's very appearance makes them a target for more hate... parents who are scared can end up hurting their kid because they are trying to protect them from the world... they cannot change every hatemonger, but they think they can change how you dress and act to minimize how much abuse you get.

I think this is less about gender than protection from hurt. Try to say what spefic things they can do or not do that will stop your feelings of hurt that come from what they are doing... explain to them that you understand that they may be trying to protect you, but it hurts worse to hear things like that from your own flesh and blood than a stranger on the street. That you can protect yourself, and that being yourself makes you LESS a target because you are not fearfull and full of anxiety. the more confertable in your own shoes you are, the less confertable those who would attack you feel in trying to attack you.... packs go for the weak, and when you are confertable and confindent in yourself, you are not weak!

*hugs* I hope I made some sense!