It seems to be a constant flux, and I'm sure it's one of those questions that varies for everyone, but always interesting to hear and discuss anyway.
All the LGBTQ people that I know are of course very interesting, with tons of other interests and they're all distinct, which is great. And then from there, it usually splits into two groups: those who are in the community and those who aren't. It's usually an all or nothing thing - not saying it's directly exclusive, but it's just the nature of it from my experience is that you're in it because you're just swept into it: updates, gossip, seeing the same people, doing the same things (groups, work, area living in etc). And you're not in it quite simply 'cause you can't really be semi informed -- 1 week away and you could've missed a hundred things, little or small that happened.
I used to be the former since I'm the organizer for the LGBTQ group in my university, and I kind of extended that to anyone I knew, since my focus was on women, and it's always hard to initally find those numbers. And before I knew it I was in the middle of everything sine I was always neutral and knew everyone. So I swung the other way.
And I kind of like staying the other way. My reasoning is 'cause I never identified with any group whatsoever. I like certain aspects of every group that I would feel somewhat part of: Chinese, Vancouverite, Torontarian, HK'er, university student, badminton player, photographer, baker, cook, elitist, gay. But it never works to wholesale for me. I don't buy into anything in particular. So as a result, being gay to me isn't that important. It seems weird since most of my volunteer work is in that, but hopefully it makes sense. By that I mean that I want others to respond to my character before anything else, and I'm the same with others: do we have the same interests, same life views, lifestyles etc.
Gay doesn't really come into it ever - it's who I'm with potentially. It wouldn't have any baring for the most part until I bring a date/partner, or talk about one. It's a possible lifestyle. Moreover, it's a possible lifestyle with someone else. That person might not share all the same friends anyway.
Of course, all my claims have the underlying assumption that the people I deal with are queer-friendly. If they're not, there's a limit to how close I'd be with them anyway. If I'm not close to them, I wouldn't care too much about what they thought of me. I'm sure there are ample people who do not particularly like me, and probably those who just outright dislike me. But no-one's ever been too vocal about that, and I admit I've been lucky enough to have those people be the odd one out in the group rather than a group against me (with one exception). And those that I'm friends with, well I'm friends with them because I like them and we have similar interests. Queer issues can come up, but if queer issues dominate, I find it's just getting together witih people to talk about people. I don't like gossip, and it's rediculously taxing to hear everyone's stories without ever being able to ever tell anyone anything because everything is confidential.
In my specific case, I suppose it's simply that I'm not that interested in active, politically visible, issues. My main goal is to provide people with comfortable and safe space to enjoy themselves, without pressure. So I'm basicall advocating that people talk openly if they want to, and ty the community out, but a key stresser is that they are an individual, so it ends up revolving around their interests after they get past the initial queer verbal diahrea phase. And you maintain those friendships because you share those interests, and those that I don't connect as well with, well I keep on inviting them to events if I know they have people to talk to. I like integration. I like people in general, so gay or not gay in the end is just another qualifier for you as a person.
I guess a concrete example would be this: my life revolves around food. I like to know what I'm eating, can plan my day around a meal, like to cook, like to try new foods & fine dining, and can spend hours looking at food articles/blogs/recipies. I probably can talk about that the most. And right now my life revolves around Varsity badminton 6-7 days a week. I love playing, and generally being active and going to the gym. And I'm obsessed with walking, looking, and travelling and comparing cultures and noting nuances in cities/countries etc. Then I like learning in general - whatever it is, listening to people, in school, reading theoretical texts as well as literature. I love doing photography, even if there are few people to talk to about it (for my specific style). And of course there are all the neat experiences I've had with queer friends and the community, and sexuality. But as you can see, it's not the first thing on my mind. It's there, but somewhere drifting in the background.
So, after that long long long piece, what about you all?
All the LGBTQ people that I know are of course very interesting, with tons of other interests and they're all distinct, which is great. And then from there, it usually splits into two groups: those who are in the community and those who aren't. It's usually an all or nothing thing - not saying it's directly exclusive, but it's just the nature of it from my experience is that you're in it because you're just swept into it: updates, gossip, seeing the same people, doing the same things (groups, work, area living in etc). And you're not in it quite simply 'cause you can't really be semi informed -- 1 week away and you could've missed a hundred things, little or small that happened.
I used to be the former since I'm the organizer for the LGBTQ group in my university, and I kind of extended that to anyone I knew, since my focus was on women, and it's always hard to initally find those numbers. And before I knew it I was in the middle of everything sine I was always neutral and knew everyone. So I swung the other way.
And I kind of like staying the other way. My reasoning is 'cause I never identified with any group whatsoever. I like certain aspects of every group that I would feel somewhat part of: Chinese, Vancouverite, Torontarian, HK'er, university student, badminton player, photographer, baker, cook, elitist, gay. But it never works to wholesale for me. I don't buy into anything in particular. So as a result, being gay to me isn't that important. It seems weird since most of my volunteer work is in that, but hopefully it makes sense. By that I mean that I want others to respond to my character before anything else, and I'm the same with others: do we have the same interests, same life views, lifestyles etc.
Gay doesn't really come into it ever - it's who I'm with potentially. It wouldn't have any baring for the most part until I bring a date/partner, or talk about one. It's a possible lifestyle. Moreover, it's a possible lifestyle with someone else. That person might not share all the same friends anyway.
Of course, all my claims have the underlying assumption that the people I deal with are queer-friendly. If they're not, there's a limit to how close I'd be with them anyway. If I'm not close to them, I wouldn't care too much about what they thought of me. I'm sure there are ample people who do not particularly like me, and probably those who just outright dislike me. But no-one's ever been too vocal about that, and I admit I've been lucky enough to have those people be the odd one out in the group rather than a group against me (with one exception). And those that I'm friends with, well I'm friends with them because I like them and we have similar interests. Queer issues can come up, but if queer issues dominate, I find it's just getting together witih people to talk about people. I don't like gossip, and it's rediculously taxing to hear everyone's stories without ever being able to ever tell anyone anything because everything is confidential.
In my specific case, I suppose it's simply that I'm not that interested in active, politically visible, issues. My main goal is to provide people with comfortable and safe space to enjoy themselves, without pressure. So I'm basicall advocating that people talk openly if they want to, and ty the community out, but a key stresser is that they are an individual, so it ends up revolving around their interests after they get past the initial queer verbal diahrea phase. And you maintain those friendships because you share those interests, and those that I don't connect as well with, well I keep on inviting them to events if I know they have people to talk to. I like integration. I like people in general, so gay or not gay in the end is just another qualifier for you as a person.
I guess a concrete example would be this: my life revolves around food. I like to know what I'm eating, can plan my day around a meal, like to cook, like to try new foods & fine dining, and can spend hours looking at food articles/blogs/recipies. I probably can talk about that the most. And right now my life revolves around Varsity badminton 6-7 days a week. I love playing, and generally being active and going to the gym. And I'm obsessed with walking, looking, and travelling and comparing cultures and noting nuances in cities/countries etc. Then I like learning in general - whatever it is, listening to people, in school, reading theoretical texts as well as literature. I love doing photography, even if there are few people to talk to about it (for my specific style). And of course there are all the neat experiences I've had with queer friends and the community, and sexuality. But as you can see, it's not the first thing on my mind. It's there, but somewhere drifting in the background.
So, after that long long long piece, what about you all?