Well, it never hurts to start out on online places like this. You never know! But, for local stuff, maybe you could do some online research about GLBT stuff in your hometown. Do you have any kind of gay organizations near you? That would be a good start. But as far as "gaydar" goes for girls, I've no idea how to tell. =\

Flannel. Look for flannel. Its all in the flannel! (Did I spell it right?) Although, it is winter..hmm..use this one during the summer months. But I guess there really is no way to tell I mean..All signs say my mom is gay. Over 40, single (for a long time), slightly overweight, shes always been vocal about her love of melissa, ellen, and wanda (before she came out!) lol and before I did...likes flannel, likes rainbows and tells me often how mad she is that 'we stole them',  does alot of home repairs/work, and yet, she really is straight, so...I guess you never can really tell. Pisses me off though she gets hit on more than me. :/ lol. One time a woman followed her around Shop 'n Save singing to her! lol...but yeah, I'm sure there's a youth group centered around a major city in NC at least. I know there's one in SC, so I would HOPE NC has one as well. lol ;) Best of luck! But yeah, when you go out you could always wear some rainbow stuff too, esp if you're going somewhere 'gay'- that way they won't assume you're a friend or something. Just be careful who sees you with it- But you can always feign ignorance. yeah I have way to much experience with the closet... :/ Go get 'em! lol

 That's the major challenge a lot of girlies face. Trust me when I say you're not alone. Gay guys as much as they may not want to admit it, have it pretty easy. Guys, as a very stereotypical rule act a certain way and are easy to spot. 
Us femmes and those that don't want to lez out have a little harder time meeting other gay girls. The best advice I can give you is to get into the community. Once you meet one you meet them all. This is the beauty of the gay community and lesbian community specifically. We all know how hard it is to meet each other and we latch on and never let go haha.
Now how do you go about meeting the community? Well although everyone else has suggested a gay youth group I've done just fine without that to meet people. Youth groups are fine, and I've gone to my fair share of meetings. But as someone recently told me "I've met everyone at [my gay group] without ever attending a meeting, they find you." and honestly, it's true. All you need to do is make friends with similar likes and dislikes and be open about your sexuality. The more open about it you are the more likely other people are going to come out to you and be open with you or introduce you to their gay friends. 
Now I used to live in a very conservative town and now i live in a liberal city. So how open you want to be is of course your decision. usually once in a group of people with similar likes it's fairly easy to be open and comfortable. 
I don't know what stage of life you're in but I tend to hang out at gay places. Gay clubs, gay events at my college, I have some friends on women sports teams. You find your way around and you'll find your niche in the community. 
And remember as much as it sucks to say it, it's not easy getting in and staying in. You have to make your face known and make sure people know you're here to stay and want to be there. It'll take a while but once you're in, you're in.
Good luck and keep the faith there are more of us than you realize ha.
-M