Hey man,

I have totally been in your situation before. My father was a Southern Baptist preacher the entire time I was growing up (and as you know, Southern Baptists are well-known for being intolerant). When my parents found out I was gay (you better believe I didn't tell them), they immediately pulled me out of public school mid-semester, held me back, put me in a christian private school, and made me see counselors and go to conferences from age 16-18. I couldn't talk to ANYONE that was gay, couldn't get online without them tracking my every move, and had my cell phone taken away. Needless to say, it was a mess for a while.

However, there is hope. You will survive.

If you ever want to talk, hit me up - though I realize that's easier said than done in your case.

~A~

Focus on the Family. As for coming out to friends in that kind of environment, it may be a good idea to test the waters first. Perhaps, casually bring up some gay issue and see how they react.

Fortunately, any decent counselor will realize that it's your parents that need "treatment" and not you. The medical community doesn't classify gayness as a disease any more. <3

And psychboi, wow... How are things now with your parents? How did you not go insane!

Welcome!

=( Focus on the Family.. Reading about them always makes me sad...

Maybe it would help to convince your parents to get you a real counsellor, one who's qualified and licensed, if it's possible. Being religious doesn't automatically grant anyone the ability to counsel anyone. I tend to think being faithful does the exact opposite.

I hope your parents aren't too computer-savvy so they don't find out you visit OpenMynds.. ^^" If you need help removing Internet logs or files, just let me know. At least they haven't employed some censoring software.. have they..?

Good question: How did I not go insane.

I think the only way I managed to go through all that was knowing inside that this was not all in vain. I wasn't just going through that senselessly. One of my favorite quotes that puts perfectly into words the thought that kept me going is, "Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'."  Believing in that certainly helped me.

Also, I read a book by psychologist William Glasser entitled, "Choice Theory" which absolutely opened my eyes. Basically, it helped me "transcend" the negative, helpess environment I was in and gave me empowerment. I would recommend that book to everyone.

For the record, I have a wonderful relationship with my parents now. Both of them know Jim, my "other half", and seem to like him. I'm sure that if they had an option, they'd gladly have me be straight instead, but I think they've accepted the fact that I'm very happy "as-is" and that's what matters.

So there are happy endings! Great to hear how things have improved for you.. ^_^